Know Your Stars Inuyasha
by FuyuMitsukai
Summary: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars... Poor Inuyasha and Co. They have no idea what they are getting themselves into, subjecting themselves to me and my friend. Oh the fun we will have.
1. Episode 1

A/N: Okay, this is a result of boredom and sugar between my friend and me

**A/N:** Okay, this is a result of boredom and sugar between my friend and me. We had done something similar to this on another site that got hacked and never got back up, so we just wanted to do another one. Don't worry, I'm still working on the other stories. And I will try as often as I can to get those up as well. This is just something amusing on the side with a friend… and we tend to get really hyper, so beware. -shifty eyes-

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own Inuyasha. Grr….

**KNOW YOUR STARS -with the cast of Inuyasha-**

-a loud commotion is heard and the door burst open-

Fuu: -dragging a man into the room let's just call him Joe-

Joe: But I don't _want_ to work today…

Fuu: Too bad.

Kayl: -walks in after them, holding a coffee mug and pixie sticks, looking quite ecstatic- Oh come ooooonnn, Joe. It'll be fuuuun. We get to torture people. Take your anger out on our clients. -big toothy smile- XD

Joe: -tilts his head a bit, thinking- -smirks softly- Okay. -jumps up and runs to his studio-

Kayl: -throws a pixie stick at him, which he catches it before he disappeared into the room- -turns to Fuu- -mutters- He'll probably be snorting it.

Fuu: -looks after Joe with a frown- Just as long as he doesn't get it all over the place… -picks up energy drink that appears through the magical plothole of doom- Got enough sugar there?

Kayl: -chibi look, which seems almost pitiful- Sí! -laughs hysterically- -coughs- Um, yeah. I actually brought it for the cast, but I had some major lack in, um, storage. -nervous chuckle-

Fuu: -raises eyebrow- Uh-huh. -opens the drink and takes a sip- -twitches-

Kayl: -points at drink- I'm not the only one. -bounces up and down slightly, eyes averting back and forth- Where is the CAST??

Fuu: -crosses arms- How should I know? He _should _be here by now. But obviously he's not here. -starting to get irritated-

-door slams open and both of them jump, Inuyasha walks in swaggering with beer bottle-

Kayl: -arches an eyebrow- Oh. Shit. -sighs- -rubs hands together and smirks mischievously, walking over to him- Okay, buddy. Time to get cleaned up. -takes the bottle from him and throws it into one of the set pieces-

Inu: Heeey, Babyyy. -puts his around her shoulder-

Kayl: -gives Fuu a helpless look- -mouths 'help me'-

Fuu: -eyes narrow and she hits Inuyasha on the back of the head a little harder than necessary the grabs his ear, yanking him away- What did I tell you about flirting?

Inu: -gives her a slightly blank and frightened look- Ummm…..

Fuu: -glares- No to do it, baka!

Kayl: -relieved sigh- Thank god… -tilts head in thought- Ah-ha! -runs to lounge room and comes back with a BIG mug of coffee and a bucket of water- -shoves the coffee under Inu's nose- Drink!

Fuu: -tugs his ears slightly until he takes the cup and starts drinking- That water better be cold.

Kayl: -smirks evilly, giving a look that said 'extremely cold'- -when Inu finished the mug, she dumped the bucket of water on him-

Inu: -yelps and stands there shivering- What the hell was that for!! -gives Kayl an indignant glare-

Kayl: -smiles innocently- You were drunk! I couldn't help it! –pouts mockingly- I sowwy.

Inu: -still glaring-

Fuu: -yanks on Inu's ear again- Okay, we've wasted enough time. We need to get to work. -starts pulling Inuyasha to the chair in the center of the room by his ear-

Kayl: -points to Joe- Hit it, Joe!

Joe: -looks up from the desk, his nose red and dusted with white sugar- Oh, right! Right! –makes the lights dim, and spotlights move- -his voice changed into one of those announcer voices-

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Inu: What the _hell_? You didn't tell me about this! -starts to get up-

Fuu's voice: Sit down or I'll strap you to the damn chair.

_-coughs- Ahem. _

Inu: Who are you to tell me what to do?

_Sit the fuck down, shrimp. _

Inu: o.O Excuse me?

_You heard me. Sit down. I'm not all too happy about being here either. So stop your stupid whining and sit down._

Inu: -sits down, a little disturbed- -mutters something about this is the wrong way to spend and make money-

_Inuyasha is an alcoholic. He needs to go to AA meetings._

Inu: I do not!

_Inuyasha is in denial. He can't deal with his problems._

Inu: At least I'm not snorting pixie sticks. -looks irritated-

_-voice grows frustrated and firm- Inuyasha loves to dance with naked men on Saturday nights because he enjoys the rush._

Inu: WHAT!! You son-of-a…

Fuu: Hey, language! -mutters- Dobe…

Inu: -glares- You're the one who said damn and mister Joey boy here said fuck. Why the hell can't I cuss?

_Because you're ignorant and stupid._

Inu: Again. I'm not the one getting high off of sugar snorting!

_Inuyasha is secretly in love with Shippo but can't admit it because a dead clay pot is following him around._

Inu: I don't love Shippo. That's disgusting! And as for Kikyo, well, um…

_Inuyasha has wet dreams about Shippo every night and wakes up excited and covered in sweat._

Inu: -turns red with anger- You're sick and twisted, man!

_I know. It could be worse. –thinks about his low pay, and gets more evil thoughts- Last night, Inuyasha raped Kirara in her sleep._

Inu: Dude, that is wrong and you know it.

Fuu: -coughs- Um, Joe, that was a tad bit inappropriate. Keep it a little cleaner.

_You got me up this morning to do this job under a low wage and you expect me to keep it clean?_

Kayl's voice: You want another pixie stick?

_No. -coughs- Well, this ends our session with Inuyasha, a.k.a shrimp, AA member, naked men dance partner, stupid and ignorant dobe, Shippo lover, and cat demon raper._

-lights turn back on-

Fuu: -sighs- Joe, we'll talk about wages after the show next time. You need to learn to keep your personal shit out of this. Understood?

Joe: Whatever.

Kayl: -throws a brick from the magical plothole of doom at Joe's head- Obey your master, bitch.

Joe: -falls over, unconscious-

Fuu: -sweatdrops- Um, Kayl, that was… kinda overdoing it.

Kayl: -shrugs and kicks at Joe a little bit- Well, he kind of deserved it, the pothead. We need another announcer now until he, um, is alive again.

Fuu: Well, since you were the one who knocked him out, you can do it. -crosses arms-

Kayl: -sighs- You're kidding, right?

Inu: -walks up with another bottle of beer- -puts his arm around Kayl- C'mon, babe. You can do it. You're amazing.

Kayl: -eye twitches- -grabs his arm and flips him over- Hands off, you pitiful excuse of an imitation of Miroku.

Inu: -lays twitching on the floor-

Fuu: -shakes head- Now why could you have done that the first time?

Kayl: -shrugs- Joe got my adrenaline going.

Fuu: As if the sugar hadn't helped that at all.

Kayl: -innocent smile- You know you love me.

Fuu: -lips quirk into a smile- Yeah… -stretches-

Inu: -still twitching-

Kayl: -raises an eyebrow- I need more coffee…before the next show.

Fuu: Suuuure you do. We do need to wrap this up though.

Inu: -still twitching-

Kayl: -eyebrow twitches incessantly- -kicks Inuyasha- Stop it! -looks up at Fuu and nods- Yeah. -walks towards the camera making a silly face before turning it off-

**A/N:** Just the first of many. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did making it.


	2. Episode 2

**A/N:** Okay, next morning and we've had sugar…

**Hello, and welcome to **

**KNOW YOUR STARS -with the cast of Inuyasha-Your hostesses are Fuyu and Kayl. Our victim this time is….. Kagome Higurashi**

Fuyu: -kicks door open and walks in, bag in one hand, leash in the other-

Joe: -on the other end of the leash, a very irritated look on his face- Is this quite necessary?

Fuyu: -smiles sweetly and yanks on the leash so he stumbles slightly- Very. The rehab clinic told me to make sure you didn't run away. This was the most effective thing I could come up with.

Joe: -glares- What the hell are you on?

Fuyu: -giggles and holds the bag up- Sugar. -places bag in a chair then turns and pats his cheek- Don't worry, dearie. It's only until you complete rehab.

Joe: -fumes- Don't touch me. I'm not addicted to anything. I don't know why you even entered me.

Fuyu: -unconvinced look- Uh-huh. Riiiight. Come on, Joe we all know you snort shit.

-a blur of green goes by them and a loud squeal echoes-

Kayl, the "blur": Wheeeeeee!! You deserve it, Joe. Just admit it. -giggles-

Joe: -crosses arms- I don't know what you two are talking about.

Fuyu: -places hand over mouth and grins- It looks like I'm not the only one with sugar.

Joe: What the hell? You too? -mutters- This is bad….

Kayl: -squee- Well, of course!! Sugar is the basis of this show. -growls playfully- And you don't get any. -drinks xxx Vitamin Water-

Joe: … -pouts- That's not fair.

Fuyu: -pulls on the leash and hugs Joe tightly- Aw, poor Joe.

Joe: -wheezes- Can't… breathe…

Fuyu: -squeezes harder- Oh, of course you can. You big baby. -lets him go- We need to get started anyway.

Joe: -on the floor panting-

Kayl: -angry childish pout- Get up, dummy. Gosh. You're slowing us down!!

Joe: -glares and gets up- Shuddup.

Fuyu: -take clipboard off desk- Okay, first off is… disclaimer. -straightens up- We do not own the characters of Inuyasha. If we did… well, chaos would ensue. Second…. -glances at clipboard- if anyone comments to this, we would like it to be in a letter-to-the-show sort of format. We think it would be interesting. If you don't do it, we'll change your comment for you.

Joe: Why did you even ask?

Fuyu: -crosses arms- Because it's easier if the readers do it themselves. And they might want to do something special with the format. -hits Joe over the head with the clipboard- Stupid.

Joe: -winces and rubs the back of his head- Stop abusing me, damnit.

Kayl: -slaps Joe- Watch your effing mouth, dimwit.

Fuyu: -rummages through bag and pulls out huge bag of candy- -frowns- Where's Kagome? Isn't she supposed to be here by now?

-door opens and Kagome enters, flushed-

Kagome: I'm soooooo sorry! I got side tracked and I almost forgot abo-

Inuyasha: -comes in after her- Oh, chill Kagome. Believe me, you shouldn't be so eager to be here. -crosses arms-

Kagome: -smiles- Oh, come on, Inuyasha. They can't be as bad as you keep telling me.

Fuyu: -wraps Joe's leash around her hand and sort of drags him as she moves and places her other arm around Kagome's shoulder- Aw, aren't you cute! You think that we have good intentions. -smiles and gently leads her to the chair in the middle of the room- Sit here, sweetie. This shouldn't take too long, okay? I promise nothing will threaten your physical health.

Kagome: -fearful look- Wha-what?

Fuyu: -grins- There's a good girl. Stay right there and don't move no matter what. -turns and drags Joe towards the studio- Now get in there and do your job. -kicks him into the room and slams the door shut-

Kagome: -sits timidly in the chair, but has a slight defiant look in her eye-

Kayl: -stands next to the studio door like a secret service agent- Don't even think about it, Joe. -an aggravated sigh is heard on the other side of the door-

(The lights dim and a spotlight is on Kagome.)

_Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…_

Kagome: You've **got **to be kidding me. Isn't that show copyrighted?

_This is fanfiction; we'll do whatever the hell we want as long as we don't claim it as ours._

Kagome: -huffs- Fuuuuudgggeee.

_Yes, Kagome loves to stuff her stomach with fudge before every episode._

Kagome: -scrunches up nose in anger- Excuse me, are you calling me fat??

_Fat…is an understatement. She's obese. When she walks, she bounces like jell-o._

Kagome: -looks down at her thin waist- Are you serious?

_Sometimes she gets very upset about her obesity and eats even more chocolate. No wonder Inuyasha keeps crawling back to Kikyo._

Kagome: -stares off and tears form in her eyes- You asshole.

_When she's all by herself, Kagome sits and wonders why she's not as good as Kikyo._

Kagome: -sits in anger and despair- I have never wondered such a thing.

_Kagome plots Kikyo's death when she's at her own home instead of doing homework._

Kagome: I'd rather do math than plan to kill someone!

_Kagome is actually really good at math, but she's only been hiding it so she can come back and see Hojo._

Kagome: Hojo is just a friend!

_She'd like everyone to think he's her friend, but really he's her lover. Poor Inuyasha._

Inuyasha: What the hell? What is this!?

Kagome: -eyebrow twitch- Gross. I'm only fifteen.

_Not your episode, shut up. Kagome only says that to cover up her guilty conscience._

Kagome: I've got the purest heart; how could I have a guilty conscience?

_That's not what Akago said._

Kagome: -bluntly- Akago is corrupted and evil, dumbass.

_So is Naraku, but you seem to have A LOT of fuun with him._

Kagome: Excuuuuse me!? Naraku is a filthy, slimy, hell-condemned, rotten, disgusting, pig-looking, human incarnating, insane lunatic!

_Which makes him good in you-know-where. Everything hot-n-spicy with you two?_

Kagome: Oh my… The thought of that makes me want to vomit.

_I bet that turns him on even more._

Naraku: Are you saying I have some sick fetish??

Kagome: -air gags- You're gross.

Fuu: Where the fuck did he come from!? Get him out of here! This is Kagome's episode.

Kayl: -runs and grabs Naraku, literally kicking him out of the building- Hy-yahhh!

-returns to guarding the door-

Fuu: Continue, Joe.

_I think I have enough people after my head for today, thank you very much._

Fuu: Then wrap it up, you pixie stix whore.

…

Fuu: If you haven't had enough humiliation with the leash, I'll walk you down a public street.

_-coughs- This ends this session with Kagome, a.k.a. obese fudge-lover, Kikyo hater, mathematical genius, Hojo's girl, Naraku's squeeze._

(Lights turn back on)

Fuu: -mutters- We need better security in this building. -claps hands together- Well, Kagome. Feel free to leave now.

Kagome: -scoffs- The things I do… -leaves-

Kayl: -raises an eyebrow and suddenly falls over from Joe throwing the door open, kicking it off the hinges- -groans under the door- You…ass…

Fuu: Joe! Just for that, we're going through the mall with that damn leash around you're neck.

Joe: Over my dead body! -flees-

Kayl: Not so fast! -grabs his ankle and yanks him back, then kicks the door onto him and sits on top of it- -smiles triumphantly-

Fuu: -sigh- Sometimes I worry about us… -walks up to the camera and switches it off-

**Next victim… Miroku.**


End file.
